November 2009
2 posts
Schicklgruber Bed & Breakfast - Braunau am Inn,...
www.biography.com/articles/Adolf-Hitler-9340144
I found out that Hitlers childhood home is for sale in Braunau am Inn, Austria for…$3 million dollars! I have tried to convince my wife that we should buy it and turn it into a bed & breakfast. No dice. We don’t have $3 million, she does not want to move to Austria and more importantly she is not interested in feeding my insane...
September 2009
19 posts
I would like to know how J.Crew comes up with their names for colors? It’s as if the owner of the company has a kid (I am pretty sure is named “Heather”) that just graduated from college with a degree in creative writing. I remember years ago that their catalogs would have these short paragraphs on every other page that would make you want to vomit. “Fall days. Sunny...
“In 1896 there were only four cars registered in all the United States. Two of...”
– www.truckinfo.net/trucking/stats.htm
1 tag
August 2009
16 posts
1 tag
I wouild just like to declare that I think the word “lollipop” should be banned. The only thing saying this word EVER (and it should never be said) is maybe a toddler.
When an adult, especially a grown man, says “lollipop” it makes every muscle in my body go tense. I feel my fist tighten so much I feel my knuckles nearly rip through my skin and I just want to introduce...
1 tag
1 tag
My Summer Vacation
At the begining of every new school year elementary students are usually required to write a little story about what they did over their summer vacation. I think before every Labor Day weeked adults should do the same. Most likely it would never read like a kids version: went to the beach, played at the park, visited the grandparents, watched cartoons, slept in, ate pop-tarts, grew an inch,...
July 2009
9 posts
My Many Vehicles
I love cars. I love getting a new car. I love that new car smell. I love that smell like a nymphomaniac loves sex. This probably explains why I have had so many vehicles in my 23 years of driving.
1984 cream (not white) Chrysler K car station wagon (with tan pleather!) 1986 silver Dodge Omni 1987 light blue Chrysler Ralient K car 1988 blue Chevy Berreta 1988 black Toyota pick up 1988 black...
Our Trip to British Columbia, Canada
We just returned from our awesome trip to British Columbia, Canada. Our flight out from Orlando to Salt Lake City to Vancouver and then a puddle jumper to Victoria on Vancouver Island.
The good:
Victoria, Vancouver Island is really pretty. It reminded me of Mackincac Island, Michigan with a pretty downtown surrounded by gorgeous water and topography. We did a lot of sightseeing, eating and...
Today I accomplished an amazing feat! Something I am quite proud of and when they are reflecting about my life at my wake I hope this is mentioned. Cure cancer? No. Donate my time to a worth while charity? Nope. Help a little old lady cross a busy street or save a kitten from a tree? Ah…no.
What I did was finally complete Gears of War 2 on hardcore all while pushing my gamer points...
Thanksgiving is just a few months away but I thought I would take a moment to reflect on several things to be very thankful for.
Coffee: I don’t know how I would get any day going without it.
TV: What the hell did people do for home entertainment before this? Don’t tell me “read.” The majority of the world was semi literate and people did not have home libraries like...
I am probably what would be considered a video game addict. I must play 30+ hours a week on my 360. Just in the past few weeks I have played Call of Duty 2, 3, 4 (Modern Warfare) and 5 (World at War) and nearly completed all on Veteran level. Though I am somewhat proud of this…I am not necessarily so proud of crushing one 360 controller and breaking a lamp. I have been know to behave...
Our Stimulus Package
My wife (aka The Love Of My Life!) has mentioned to me several times that we tend to spend a bit too much on beer and going out. I love the high gravity beers and they are by no means inexpensive. Going out adds up too when you take into consideration not only dinner and drinks but maybe also a show, drinks after and then there is the babysitter. Let’s not forget the taxi home so as to...
1 tag
Tranformers: The Survival of Megan Fox's White...
I took my boys to see Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I am not surprised at all this movie received a 19% out of 100% on rottentomatos.com
www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_revenge_of_the_fallen/
My kids loved it. My kids are also 8 and 10 years old…right about the level of humor found in the movie. The human part of this movie just sucked. The machine/cgi part of good but...
Happy 40th Conception to me!
It was 40 years ago today that my parents were vacationing on a lake house boat somewhere in Ontario, Canada. Some wine, Barry White, motion of the house boat and voila!…I was conceived! I am not a fan of my birthday at all and I really don’t like birthday parties. However, I was hoping that maybe my wife made me a cake and “surprised” me at the 4th of July lake party we...
June 2009
20 posts
Ed McMahon - A Real American Hero
Everyone is yapping about some pill popping pedophile that recently died. Congress even took a minute of silence in remembering the freak. God forbid they ever took a moment of silence to remember or honor a vet that had just passed on or an active duty soldier that had just been wounded or killed in combat. Why is it hardly anything is being mentioned of the passing of Ed McMahon?!
Ed McMahon...
Poopology
In an earlier post I wrote about “Poop do-overs.” http://pturner.tumblr.com/post/122341094
I have a couple other interesting phrases I like to use.
Topper: This is when you poop so much that it actually rises above the water line. An example used in a sentenced: “Wow! Now that is a topper!”
Shoot the Poop: This is pretty disgusting and weird (not that we are not...
1 tag
ratebeer.com
My friend Jamie just sent me a link to what is now officially my favoritist (I made this word up…feel free to use it) website.
www.ratebeer.com/
I joined up as HAM n JAM. I can’t wait to just get in there and read all about beer. BEER! BEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They gave my La Fin a 97 out of 100. Not bad. Just 3 short of what it should be.
George Harrison (that...